The Idea Oubliette

 It'd been quite a while since I'd been here. I know this because there was an unfinished post sitting here from 2012, which has since been published, about my trip to Prague, specifically the 12 hour layover in Amsterdam. I published it without finishing it, because the trip wasn't as fresh in my mind, having been over 9 years ago. I may start posting here more often, or on Instagram if it's more pictures than text. I'm taking a course on outdoor art and documentation, so I might put some of that content here. Things have been all over the place since my last post. My wife and I separated; I had a couple of long depressive episodes; I taught a game development course at Acadia University; I changed jobs a few times; I took courses in book binding and adult education. There's a lot than can fit into 9.5 years.

A Day in Amsterdam Taking a flight from Halifax to Prague, I was provided an opportunity to visit Amsterdam, seeing as I had a 12 hour layover there before the final leg of my voyage. It was a beautiful city and I'm glad I got the chance to see it. I arrived pretty early in the morning, on Christmas Day. My first stop was the Museumplein and the Rijksmuseum. It was very early, and so nothing was open at all. I took the time to walk around the Museumplein and some of the surrounding streets while I waited for everything to open. It was a nice walk and a comfortable 8°C, making for a nice change from the heat of the plane, terminal and bus. Ravens were cawing and pigeons tried to beg food off me. I didn't have any, so they were out of luck.

Yep, been a long, long time since I last posted. Over a year! A lot's happened in the past year; kinda crazy. First, I'd like to thank Unstranger for his comment on my SpaceRat post. I'd like to think I'm a decent writer, and if at least one person found it readable from a non-tech perspective, then so much the better! In late October the Mrs and I moved to Halifax, and I got a job writing code for a video game company. Oh yes, the dream has come true. :D I'm loving the work and apparently they're loving my performance! I started off on contract and just recently got hired on permanently. The raise that came along was great too. ;) What else… what else… The Mrs and I came out as polyamorous to our families. It wasn't a smooth ride and it still isn't for some of them. But all in all, how each of us reacts to things is our own cross to bear and we can't expect others to react in particular ways, even if we'd like them to. I turn 33 tomorrow, and s...

Yep, I know what I wrote in If I Grow Up … I had a direction and I wanted to follow it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I want to write, I love to write, I’m going to write. But do I want to make a living off of it? Perhaps I just want to do it for fun. There’s a bit of a problem with this, in that I crave something to do. The most lucrative thing I can think of is developing software. I like doing it, and I tend to do it anyway, just like writing. There’s at least one project that’s really got me interested, and I’m sure I can cook up more ideas when I’ve finished it. Finishing What I Start! It’s always been a bit of an issue for me. I’m just going to have to try harder to stay on target and not lose steam before I’m done. I’ll have to nail down my requirements and feature list well before I start coding, and freeze those requirements for version 1.0. There’s always room for improvement later on, and if the first version isn’t solid, what kind of a message does that send to us...

UPDATED! It seems almost certain that Sophie will be getting laid off at the beginning of next month. As such, my trip to the UK is nixed, unless I get some sort of windfall of cash. Layoff plans In order to cover expenses, and possibly have some money left over for the trip, I’ll be looking at getting a part-time job. With my constant headaches and the possibility of depression, I’d have to get something pretty stress free, and not in a noisy environment. I’m not entirely confident in my ability to show up to work every day. Our income would be significantly reduced, so a lot of what I make from a part-time job would go to bills and such. Part-time is definitely about the limit I could handle. Implications There will be no trip, as it stands. The primary implication is that I might not be able to buy my plane ticket. I think that’ll be the single biggest expense of my trip. Food is probably next, and I *was* a university student on a budget, so I know how to keep from oversp...

I’m feeling a little agitated and jittery today. My internet access is down due to some nasty snow and wind. Are the two related? They might be. I know I’m certainly missing my twitter friends and feeling less in touch with the world. How long is this weather going to hold? I can’t look that up. Sure, I could pull out a radio and listen in, if I had one. I might somewhere, but I’m at the mercy of the broadcaster to decide when to report the weather and how much of it to report. Some argue that internet access should be a basic human right. Does this point of view hold water? I suppose it could be argued that since the internet allows us to draw together into a larger community that it is an essential part of improving the human condition. Its use in political organizing and to connect dissidents in repressive regimes can certainly help make the case for it as a basic human right. Is the jitteriness really from not having the internet? My doctor did just increase my dose of modafi...

I have never had the pleasure of traveling to Europe before. In fact, I’ve never left the borders of North America, having only visited parts of Canada and the US. In June 2010, it seems that this is going to change; my father will be taking me to Belgium both to visit relatives and see the sights. Realizing how easy it would be to simply take some of that time to visit the United Kingdom gave me the idea to have a few tweetups with my UK tweeples, and of course, see the sights. My basic idea is to take a week of my European trip to travel through the UK. I’m planning to have stays in London, Liverpool and Edinburgh. There’ll be a plane trip from Halifax to London, then a train trip to Liverpool, followed by another train trip to Edinburgh, and finally a plane to Brussels to join my father in Belgium. I’m planning to get to London between the 10th and 12th of June, with a departure from Edinburgh between the 18th and 20th of the same month. How much time I spend in each city will d...

140 characters is just not enough to do justice to the people I follow that make my Twitter experience so great. Either that, or I’d have to flood people’s timelines with many, many tweets. That’s just wrong... But if I forgot you, and you feel wronged by it, feel free to chew me out publicly in tweets. If I mess up the links to your twitter pages, I'm sorry. Beatings are encouraged. First and foremost: @ JardinDeSophie because she is my wife and the bestest. I don’t know where I’d be without her. @betagoddess One very special tweep who will be silent forever. I miss my mother. Good people: People who have engaged me in conversation, some of them have helped me through the hardest time of my life. @ ladyloki @ botticellirejct @ mergyeugnau @ bird42 @ ram327 @ WongoWoman @ CS999 @ doodledawne @ KingBobulousIII @ sundaeg1rl @ M20Mermaid @ damarisens @ mr_craig @ JulesHardy @ Noadi @ Angry_Atheist @ happy_atheist @ TheMadderHat @ kpibca @ Smithengarde @ Scr...

I’ve figured out what I want to be if I grow up: a writer. In fact, by writing this I’m living the dream, aren’t I? I guess things have been building up to this my whole life; I’ve been reading since I could, and writing even when I didn’t have to. Whatever my mood has been, as long as it wasn’t too severe, I’ve always written. When I was down, I wrote depressing poetry or prose. When I was up, I wrote whatever popped into my head. Now that I’m stable, I can take the time to write coherent, sensible articles. What are you going to write? It’s a good question, and I like it quite a bit. I’m going to write articles here, like the ones I’ve written so far. I’m going to write for HandmadeNews.org , with my first article there out just recently. I’ll always be writing emails. Sometimes I’ll write things down in my notebooks. If I feel like my writing is worthy of it, I might write a screenplay Josh Olson would enjoy reading. I wont bring it to him to read, though. If it’s good enough ...

When I was around 11 or 12, I started to question the received wisdom that there was a deity. I came to the conclusion that all signs pointed to no. Do I outright, unequivocally and without reservation deny the existence of such an entity? No. However, I don’t see it as a likely scenario, and until I’m presented with hard evidence, I have enough reason to say that there isn’t. Some people take comfort in their religious beliefs, especially their belief in an afterlife. I have no interest in an afterlife, either for myself of my loved ones. In the past five years I’ve lost both my grandmother and mother, both of whom I loved dearly. No amount of belief in an afterlife would soothe my pain. I mourn at the fact that they are lost from my life, right here, right now. I imagine it’s the same even for those who believe that the dead pass on to somewhere else. You can’t escape the fact that their tangible presence is forever gone from your life. Unless you believe in ghosts, but that’s a ...

Feeling down when something bad happens is normal. Feeling elated when something good happens is great. Bipolar disorder is neither. Previously referred to as manic depressive disorder, bipolar disorder consists of mood episodes ranging from deep, dark depression to the sense of invincibility and superiority that is characteristic of a manic phase. It disrupts the lives of those who suffer from it and all those around them. Luckily, however, with the right course of treatment it can be kept under control. Bipolar disorder has been found to be linked genetically and physiologically to schizophrenia. A person suffering from bipolar disorder can experience the same sort of hallucinations and delusions as someone with schizophrenia. Both have a genetic component, with a number of genes interacting to create a pre-disposition to these disorders. The families of those afflicted often include others with one of these disorders, mood disorders or alcoholism. Depression is a common symptom ...

Dear Mr. Hewlett, I’m writing to you in the hopes that you’ll read this and learn a bit about the great woman who was my mother and a big fan of yours. Helen died recently at the much-too-young age of 59. In April she found out she had pancreatic cancer; less than 5 months later, she passed away. If you don’t read this, that’s okay, I guess, because it’s also a part of my grieving process. I think you’ll be touched by it, but at the same time, it’s helping me deal with the loss. My mother as your fan Every movie you were in, she wanted to see. She didn’t get a chance to before she went. I had wanted to buy her A Dog’s Breakfast for Christmas; I think she would have really liked it. I think Cube would have given her a bit of claustrophobia, but didn’t it do that for everyone? She loved Atlantis. I think your performance was a big part of that. Joe Flanigan and Paul McGillion may also have had something to do with that. The episodes she watched of SG-1 were mostly the ones with...

My next few posts will be very personal. My mother passed away last week, and I need to write in order to properly grieve. I want to share my thoughts, and I hope they might inspire or touch some of you.